Friday, August 31, 2007


First I'll say that God is not very subtle. You'll understand later.

Our three year old will have lived with us for 23 months tomorrow. We are his SEVENTH home. No one should ever have to live in seven homes, let alone do it all before you turn two. It should go without saying, but this boy has issues. Issues that were difficult to deal with in the beginning. They're getting better, but it has been a looooong road.

Several months after he first came to live with us, I had had enough for the day and decided that going for a ride would be the thing to do. He could scream at me all he wanted I had a super loud radio. On the ride I took it upon myself to discuss with God what I had done to deserve this. I'm a good person, I'm trying to do the right thing, all those things you say to God when you're in a situation you don't want to be in. Intellectually I know God has it all together and that includes His plan for my life, but when you're going through something, knowledge isn't always applied.

So here we are riding around, me shaking my fist at God, my baby shaking his fist at me. I had the radio on, but wasn't really listening. Then I heard a sweet voice from the back singing "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty" (example one of God's non subtleness) and my next question to God was, What had I done to deserve this.

Matthew 5:8 took on a whole new meaning to me that day. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. This kid saw God. This kid has seen evil. This kid is our God warrior in training. He keeps our minds on God daily, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. He has been through the fire seven times and has come out with a pure heart. There is never a doubt as to how his day is going. Pure, pure, pure.

And now for the other 2x4 Godsmack. As I was researching a verse on refining I came across this.
Psalm 12:6
And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified SEVEN times.

Next time you have a chance, read Psalms 12 and 13. It all applies here.

My question to God is still the same, "What have I done to deserve this?" Sometimes it takes on a sarcastic tone, but for the most part, I'm glad to take my place in the puzzle of God's will.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

How we got here.

I often get asked why we chose foster care. I came from a big family, didn't really enjoy being pregnant, my husband's grandparents were foster parents way back when. It was just the perfect storm.

Our journey into foster care began almost five years ago. We attended an orientation that wanted us to be involved in a local church. We were not even attending a local church, let alone involved in one. I had been a Christian for a long time, but I was run out of the church in my late teens. I was not the type of girl that most churches welcomed with open arms. My husband wasn't even sure he believed in God at the time. We decided to give it a try, if it didn't work out we could always find another foster agency that didn't have such suggestions. We were not sure where to go, but we were sure where we would not go.

Well, our journey brought us to a church we'd heard about. We had met someone who went there and LOVED it, most people however, rumored it to be a cult or something of the sort. There were a couple thousand people in attendance every weekend, we were sure we could get in and out without notice so off we went. Traditional they were not, it was more like a rock concert for God. At the end of the service all adults were asked to take a red envelope. Inside that red envelope was a hundred dollar bill and a request to bring it back tenfold the following week. Well that guaranteed us coming back next week. Not with two thousand bucks, but to return the two hundred dollars, we did not want to take God's money.

Two weeks has turned into five years. Two thousand will soon be ten thousand. It's still a rock concert for God every week. And we are involved. The funny thing about it is, the agency who originally had asked us to be involved in a local church had to leave town due to budget cuts and never placed one child with us. We have had several kids in our care, most for long periods of time. We are praying that our fostering days will soon be over and we can adopt the kids that have been with us for the last two and a half years.

This may not seem like a foster care story, but believe me. Without the local church involvement, we would not be foster parents, and we would probably not even be married at this point. Bay Area Fellowship welcomed us into the house of God, where God could change our lives, and equip us to be a family. A family born from the heart of God

Saturday, August 25, 2007


Thanks for visiting us here at Born of the heart. I thank God for the hearts that long to raise children that were not born of their body. Let me know you're out there. I can't wait to meet you.