Happy Birthday - Flipsyde

If Anyone Knew

So, we all have things we don't necessarily like to share. Truth be told, there are very few sold out Jesus freaks from the cradle to the grave. Sometimes, but more often than not the emphasis is more so on the freak than Jesus. I think when you find a true freak from birth that you will find some Jesus freak parents whose lives were a little more scandalous. Or that the freak has been set apart for their role. Those of us who led scandalous lives know the true power of Jesus, yet we hide.

I have always loved Jesus. I loved going to church as a little girl. Loving the church didn't last, but I always loved Jesus. I found that the church was full of people who were pretending to be perfect, because if 'anyone knew' ....(fill in your own blanks). So all I saw were people who acted perfect, because they wanted to be perfect, missing the point that because of Jesus they already were.

Our current election is very divisive on the issue of "choice." Should there be choice? Should the government be involved? In what cases do we deem a choice to be acceptable. I have my opinions but am still quick to say that I never made 'that choice.' I shouldn't be so quick to praise myself, set myself apart from the millions of women who do. I've spoken to women who are only slightly younger than I, who grew up thinking that it was merely a medical option in the event of an untimely pregnancy. They thought that way, because they were taught that way. They thought that way, until they knew exactly how wrong they were. Women need to hear this, before it's too late.

I understand 'choice' I first got pregnant when I was 18, in college, and of course not married. There was no thought as to what I would do. By that time in our history one out of wedlock baby was acceptable. Three years later, I found myself in the same predicament, with another guy. There I was attempting college for the second time, pregnant with my second out of wedlock child, late for my first day of class because of morning sickness. I sat next to someone close to the end of an isle who didn't seem scary. Before we even had exchanged pleasantries she had pulled two things out of her bag. She asked me if I needed either. I told her it was too late on both counts. Too late for the condom as I was already pregnant, and didn't need the Bible because it was just too late.

I, in my naive little mind, could not grasp that God could do anything with my life. I was about one poor choice from a Jerry Springer highlight reel. Luckily, God had other plans. He was able to use even my own rebellion to weave a beautiful story for my life. He has knit together a not so perfect family where this scandalous woman gets a primary role.

My adult life has identified mostly with the woman caught in adultery. Naked and a mess at the feet of Jesus, too ashamed to ask for the grace and mercy that only He can give, and unaware that the crowd has gone. They, too afraid of their own exposure have retreated into their own lives, hoping that know one really knows that which they are too ashamed to speak of.

Let's Make a Change

And vote for someone who values life. (Had you worried there for a minute didn't I?) Thanks to milehimama for this.

Pro Trig Debate

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I don't know if you saw the RNC on Wednesday night or not. If not you missed a moment in history. The speeches were great, but better than that, little Piper Palin holding her baby brother Trig and looking at him like he was the greatest creation on the planet. Smoothing his hair and loving all over him.

90% of his Down Syndrome counterparts never make it out of the womb. They have gone ahead to Heaven, but what have their families missed by sending them on? Probably their greatest creation.

The next BFF of me.

I wonder if it's just me or if all the dirt being dug up on Sarah Palin is only serving to make her more likable. We of course know that Hillary has never had a problem a day in her life. Good for her, but ever since most of us first heard the name Sarah Palin on Friday we hear that she has problems.

First, she cannot control her kids or her husband. Not that they are out of control mind you, just that she doesn't have them on the shortest leash on the planet where she can control their every action. Even on a very short leash, one can find trouble if they are looking, right Mr. Clinton?

Everyone is up in arms today that Mr. Palin got a DUI twenty some years ago. Of course there are men in the Senate who, years ago, have allegedly driven drunk, and allegedly caused the death of their companion, how is Mr. Kennedy hailed and Mrs. Palin (who is not the drunk driver)railed?

My take on it all is that she sounds like someone who has the same problems as I. Someone who wouldn't be out of place at one of our barbeque's. I wonder if she's ever given her kids milk that expired the day before? Or forgot to put the laundry in the dryer before she went to bed, and had to send one of the little Palin's to school in dirty socks. I would not bring up the cost of gasoline with her,

"Yeah, Governor Palin, it costs about $48 more a month for me to fill up my tank, what are you going to do about it?"

"Shut up, I have to fly to work."

Seriously folks, the more you find out about her the more I like her, and I can't be the only one. I think this is as close to "we the people" as we're going to get for awhile, especially if the Republicans lose. If this does work, maybe we should completely clean house every couple of years and see what change is all about.

Teenage girls get pregnant?

OK first and foremost if we were discussing Joe Biden and not Sarah Palin, would we even be discussing this? NO. That's right if you aren't going to say it about a man, you shouldn't say it about a woman. If one of the men running had a pregnant teenage daughter this would be a non-issue. And on one side we may not ever even know, there are safe and legal ways to avoid this type of "embarrassment".

Of course we've all seen the Youtube of Obama saying that if one of his daughter's made a mistake he wouldn't want them punished with a child. Yes, that's right, we hand out children to punish people. Some of us get that, others haven't fostered. Yes, please email me, I love to hear what you say.....

Secondly, you cannot control your children's "loins", don't we love that word. I have enough problems with my own loins for crying out loud. Anyone who says that they could control any action of a teenager has never had one. This is also true for children of any age. If your six month old decides it's time to cry, it's time to cry. Even if they've been crying and you have to go to Target, and you can't wait any longer, you can do everything you can to figure out what the problem is, but short of a MacGyver inspired muzzle, that kid may just keep crying. How you choose to deal with it is up to you.

Would I freak if my teenager came home preggers? Yeah. Of course I would really freak if she came home with some post choice regret. I shouldn't be surprised that the libs are using this as more proof that Sarah should be home making some tasty after PTA snack and not governing the state of Alaska, but I am. You supposedly want us out of the kitchen, but only as far as it suits your needs.

Let's not forget that Biden himself missed his own swearing in because he was attending his young bride's funeral. He was being hailed last week for balancing his work in D.C. with his family in Delaware. And if he could do it alone, how is it that Palin can't do it with the help of her husband?

So let's decide how we're going to live this century, are we getting out the chastity belts and aprons or are we going to discuss what's really going on?

The Church of the State

My born of the heart babies are eligible for all sorts of government programs. They can receive WIC, Medicaid, Headstart, and various other things. We were turned down for Headstart because we knew we'd be absent at least 18 days and the director believed that our slot would be better utilized by someone who would be more likely to be there. I can't say I was disappointed. I have my BOTH babies in a church program, I know what they are learning, even though it costs me $600/month.

They do receive Medicaid. Which is good, I guess because of all the things I'm required to get for them medically. Things like psychological evaluations. And Princess has a heart condition, so keeping up with that in the beginning would have been quite costly without the aid. The more dangerous of her conditions righted itself, and the other condition is being monitored on a three year basis now. And there may come a time that she is inelligible for private insurance. But let me tell you it's a pain in the butt.

With WIC, I go back and forth on. The kids receive 7.5 gallons of milk, 2 dozen eggs, 2 pounds of cheese, 36 ounces of cereal, 18 ounces of peanut butter, and 4 gallons of juice each month. The problem is because they are in foster care, I have to go to the WIC office each month to receive the checks, they might move and then there would be all these checks out there.... Regular WIC clients get three months of checks at a time. Now I know I shouldn't complain, it works out to about $60/hour and it's "for the kids". My problem is taking money from the government that I don't need.

My husband have been quite blessed financially these last few years. My husband taught himself a valuable skill and is compensated quite nicely for it. Also, we tithe and God has kept his end of the bargain by flooding our storehouse. Our annual income is greater than our mortgage balance, and the mortgage will be gone shortly. So we don't "need" government assistance.

I wish all Christians would revolt against government assistance. Get rid of food stamps and WIC and Aid to Families with Dependent Children. Get rid of government housing assistance, and job training program, don't even get me started on education programs. And last but not least FOSTER CARE. Now, that you're all upset, calm down. I'm not saying that the poor need to get it together or die, I'm saying that it's not the government's job to take care of them. It is the job of the Church to take care of the poor and the widows and the orphans.

The problem with us delegating our job to the government is two fold. First, it hits us where it hurts, the pocketbook. Higher and higher taxes and the results of such programs are marginal at best. If you think that your goverment is more capable than your church of handling your money, then maybe you should find a new church. The ones who are utilizing these services have to make it a way of life, the government says $x makes you eligible, make $20 more and you no longer qualify for hundreds of dollars worth of assistance.

Secondly, when people are hurting and in need, they don't need to cry out to God, they just have to fill out a little paper work and the government will take care of it for them. They can thank their Uncle and not their Father. We become complacent and ticked off, we excuse ourselves from doing our job, because the government will and we can look down on the poor for not being able to get out of the trap.

Maybe you think the government needs to be involved so they can provide oversight of these programs. I don't believe that would be a problem if you were personally handing over your money. You'd provide the oversight. Times that by 100 million people and the government can go home.

I do take the WIC most months, I give almost all of it away to other foster parents who have older kids and don't qualify because I know how much the government is paying for their fostering services. I do think I'd feel better just buying them a few things and leaving the government out of it.

I'll let you in on another little secret, as I said before we make more than the average American, but unless it's a year that they impose the Alternative Minimum Tax on rich people, (this year it's $45,000 married filing jointly. Yeah if you make less than the average American you can still be considered one of the "rich".) we don't pay taxes. Oh, but you're rich you should pay taxes. Well, tithing and taking care of orphans, which are tax deductable if they live in your house six months and one day, gives us enough deductions that our taxable income is a couple thousand dollars, which makes us poor on paper, and therefore income tax exempt.

Ask any teacher how the government is doing with education, or any foster parent how well the government is taking care of orphans. Of course we're all too busy trying to keep our head above the regulations to be able to change any of it. Let the teachers teach and the parents parent. Let the church care for the poor and the widows and the orpans.

Instead of sending all of your money to the government give it to a charity. We choose to give it to our church, but give it to any cause you believe in. It doesn't even have to be a church thing, just a duty as an American, take care of YOUR house, help out YOUR neighbor. If you can't personally care for an orphan, help a family that's already taking care of one. If we would all take back our job from the government then the government could stick to what it does best, defending us against terrorists.

Two Degrees of Oprah Winfrey

Anyone who hasn't been living in a cave has heard of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon". Everybody in the world knows Kevin Bacon through no more than six people. I am three degrees away from him. This past week Oprah inserted herself into the case of our foster family by contacting the foster father of our babies oldest brother. I guess her and I are now a two.

At first I was excited, maybe Oprah could do something that caseworkers and attorneys and I haven't been able to do. I've been struggling with this over the past couple of days. If Oprah is able to move the process along and get the state to follow their own laws regarding time in care, would she get the credit. Would I forever tell everyone that because of Oprah I was able to adopt my children? I've been hesitant to hope for it because it is all God's timing. On the other hand, could she be an instrument that causes change. Is she the instrument that will shine the light on kids getting stuck in foster care? When I've discussed this with people they are most excited that Oprah is now involved. These are good Christian people, why are they more excited by what Oprah can do than by what God can do?

I keep playing the song in my head by Casting Crowns. What if His people prayed. "What if families turned to Jesus and stopped asking Oprah what to do." Is Oprah more powerful than God in America? She gets better press that's for sure. Can someone who doesn't openly and often acknowledge God be used by Him to complete his purposes? Am I willing to hope for her help and give Him the credit? I know that should this case have the light of Oprah shone upon it, the Born of the Heart organization will go from 300 hits a month to 300 hits an hour. I'd better have my act together by then. I started Born of the Heart to help foster families, I started it to help as many as I could. Did I imagine it going Oprah big? No. I have given it to God though and apparently it is going places I never imagined.

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

I've said it before, and it's been following me since, but girls, let us stop worshiping at the altar of the Proverbs 31 woman. I read a book, some guy is pointing out how all women should strive to be like her. (When you read my book on how to be a man we can talk.) I turn on the radio, and there she is offering advice. I randomly pick a blog, and someone is telling everyone how she longs to be a P31. I am completely sick of it.

I don't know who wrote it, neither do I care. All that I know is this is about a woman who was adored by her family for all that she did for them. I am that, and have done it with very little striving. I am far from perfect and my husband adores me. I am not at model weight and yet he thinks I'm sexy. I am not up before the family, and he steps in and takes care of what needs to be done. He let's me sleep in on weekends, I haven't sewn anything in years, although I did "make my own bed clothes", and he was kind enough to have it quilted for me for Christmas. I cook, sometimes I clean, I do laundry, but I've given up on striving.

What we are working on here is balance. We've been working on it for more than a decade, and we are almost completely happy, almost all of the time. And I'm sure right before one of us dies, we'll get the perfect balance.

If she were THE role model for women I think Jesus might have mentioned her somewhere, but he didn't hang in her circle. He even told Martha, who was complaining about Mary sitting around, that Mary knew what was more important, (maybe it was the other way around, but you know what I mean). If I'm going to try to be like somebody, I want to be like Jesus.

I am born

It sounds silly. I am born. No one ever says it that way. They say I was born. They joined their family of origin by being born. Some children join a family by being adopted. From then on they were adopted. They don't continue to be adopted. It's a one time thing, not a lifelong sentence.

I know I'm probably being too pc about it all, but I don't like when people say "oh, she's adopted". No she isn't, she was; now she's a part of the family. When people say "I'm adopted" it sounds like they are setting themselves apart from the family they joined.

Of course we could solve this whole dilemma if everyone would just refer to it as either, I was born of the body or I was born of the heart. Let's work on that people.

Women in the Bible

How is it that the Proverbs 31 woman has become the only biblical woman that we hear about? Most of us are not and never will be her, and parading her about only causes us to strive to be something that we are not, or causes us to give up because we now have biblical proof that we do not measure up. This is a woman who stayed up all night and got up before everyone else, she was perfect, but everytime I think of her I think Bree Van deKamp. This lady had it all together, and is the only woman in primetime to read her bible daily. I may be wrong but give it some thought.

I'm more of a woman caught in adultery type. Naked at the feet of Jesus, too ashamed to ask for the mercy only He can give. Now before the rumor mill gets going, let me clarify. I have not committed adultery, this decade anyway.

Sadly we don't know all of the names of the women in the Bible, but I do know that most of them wouldn't be allowed through the doors of most churches. Well, they'd be let in, as long as they kept to themselves and allowed us to pray for them. The woman at the well who had seven husbands would be the perfect prayer project.

This all brings about the question of what does a Christian woman look like today. Is she fat? Is she thin? Is she married? Is she single? Is she divorced? Is she straight? Is she gay? Does she have tattoos? Does she work outside the home? Does she work inside the home? Does she cook from scratch, or go through drive thru? Does she sew or shop? Does she have kids, does she hate kids? Has she ever had an abortion, been a stripper or sold herself for drug money? I don't know. I do know that nothing on the list would exempt anyone from being a Christian, as much as we would like to keep our Christian circles pure, exempting another would by default be un-Christian.

God can deal with anything you bring. Anything. And the nice thing is the only thing that you get for having a bigger pile of junk to lay at His feet, is MORE grace.

So the advice this naked at the feet of Jesus lady has for all you Proverbs 31 wannabes is... turn off the lights, have some sex (only you married ones), sleep late and order a pizza. The world will not end.

This is the day...: ...I get a do over.

This is the day...: ...I get a do over.

This is the day...: ...that my piece fits.

This is the day...: ...that my piece fits.