If I Stop Laughing, I'm Going to Cry

Yesterday, bright and early we were off to see the orthopedist to get Felpsy's arm set. 2 hours I will never get back. Frustrating that the receptionist would not give me the medical report which needs to be turned into CPS within 24 hours of a visit of this nature. "I'm not sure Foster Parent's get these." OK then I can't consent and you just treated a foster kid without consent you bad girl. She informed me that I could get a copy from medical records later this week, if I had the correct paperwork. Blug- referred to my agency, no longer my problem.

We were to go back in ten short days to get it off, but Felpsy took care of it last night. I'm sure I've told you all that he has a nervous habit of scratching the insides of his elbows until they are whiter than I, kind of hard to do when you have a plaster cast on. But if you pull out all the stuffing you can slide that puppy right off. So, here we go again.

Well, in the midst off all of this, daycare called, Princess needed a change of clothes. I had left some there as is policy, well she had not one but two accidents today. Of course, once the twins saw me, I was taking them home. We got home about nap time, had them go potty and hop into bed. Princess was going potty and screaming bloody murder. UTI. So, back to Urgent Care later this evening, once we get back from the orthopedic reset.

Thank God that Big Girl is home this week. She was able to sit on the ones staying home so I didn't have to take all three to what will have to be the least exciting events of my week. Medical waiting rooms.

We have five doctor visits in less than a week, and now Big Girl thinks she may have a sinus infection. Goodbye flexible spending account, we'll miss you.

Hello? Is there anybody there?

I got the kids' case file from our attorney today. Mostly the court reports, psychological's boring stuff.

Starting in October 2006 every court paper had the finding that "the children are available for adoption". It repeats that once more in 2006, at least three other times in 2007, and in February of 2008 there is an initial placed next to that finding, and that finding is absent from further filings.

So, one of two things have happened. Either the kids have been available for adoption for two years and no one knew. Or the court and the county attorney, the parents' attorney's, CPS, the ad litem and the fostering oversight department missed a crucial finding for at least 16 months.

I don't know which would be worse.

Also, for those of you who don't believe there are adoptable babies available from foster care, I met a foster parent at the dentist today that has been caring for a child since birth, he is now 18 months. She has no intention of adopting as she is in her early 60's, but they cannot find a home for him. Sad news is that he's bonded to this woman who will not care for him his entire life, because there are people who are too afraid to take the chance on at risk babies.

Now, I know that everyone has to come to terms with what they can handle, but statistics are on the side of adoption if a child stays in care past the initial hearing. There are a lot of kids who are available for adoption. A lot that leave the hospital in foster care. There are also a lot of parents who cannot, for whatever reason, check the box "at risk placements". Fact of the matter is that all children in foster care are placed at risk.

Anyway, with the incompetency that is running rampant in the foster care system, it's amazing that any person would sign up for it at all.

Frightening

I've been waiting for the Follower Gadget to become active on Blogger. It's here. I'm activating it. I hope there are more than 2 of you.

What's a Parent to Do?

We dropped Big Girl off at college. We are trying our best to let her be a non-child anymore. It was tough. Roommate showed up with a man. Not an older boy, or a young man, but a man man. Not an uncle, step parent, friend of the family. A man she met at the bookstore who offered to drive her six hours to school. CREEPY. But I didn't say anything.

First call home.

"I can't hear you, are you riding in the back of a truck or something."

"Yeah, why?"

We all know why, but I didn't say anything.

We were at her on campus apartment for about 45 minutes total after she moved in, two guys had already come calling. And during another call home there were three over watching movies.

I'm still quite sure that God has her covered, but golly it must be hard sometimes for Him.....

Nothing?

I ran my URL through this it claims my site is worth nothing. What if I were to mention this or this or do I have to mention this?

I'll let you know...

Limits

For those of you who didn't see Oprah's show on hoarding this week...the lesson was. Impose some limits. On yourself, on your kids before you have 75 TONS of trash in your house and a 10,000 square foot warehouse to hold a garage sale of stuff you don't need.

I am trying to keep the three babies limited to four boxes of toys each. Three little ones and a bin to keep the bigger stuff. For the record I started this before I saw the show. Of course enforcing it became a higher priority this week. I have been cited by CPS for not having enough toys, my grandma was happy with a rag doll and a stick, but our kids need a thousand toys or they can't function.

Imposing limits on the kids has been significantly easier than imposing them on myself. Yes, my closet overfloweth, my excuse is I have the "he" closet, but still it's only an excuse to not manage my limits. I have done the whole turn all of the hangers around and when you wear something put the hanger back correctly, after six months get rid of all the backward hanging clothes. All except the get rid of part. I even put all of my clothes in a different closet and planned on getting rid of them after one year. I eventually had to have my daughter clean out that closet, I don't know what clothes I no longer have, and I'm still alive. But surprisingly ridden with anxiety just thinking about it.

The organizer guy kept reinforcing the statement that if it is special then it should be in a special place, if it is not in a special place, it is therefore not special, and therefore you don't need it. I just have the problem that everything has special meaning to me, or I might need it someday. Never had I realized the concept of limits. I'll blame society. They've been telling us that we are all special, but they forget to impose the limit of we may all be special, but not to everyone. I am not excited that your kid learned to walk. It was not a special day for me, neither do you care that my son's hamster died yesterday. The limits make our special things even more special. Limits leave room for only the best.

We've forgotten the concept of limits, that's why we're all fat and broke. If we run out of money, Visa can save the day. We have unlimited access to food, and we're bound to eat it all. Diamonds are no longer forever, they are also for Christmas, and Valentine's Day, and anniversaries and birthday's and just because. Given that you're required to spend two months salary on them, no wonder we're broke. I have one diamond, my engagement ring, I'm not saying I'll never have another, but it will be special because I don't get 5 a year.

My husband and I have gotten serious about financial limits, it's been important to us for quite awhile, we just didn't know how to do it. For Valentine's Day I gave him my destroyed credit cards, I have no immediate access to credit at this point. We have the very real limit of running out of cash. It certainly causes us to stop and think what we're spending the money on. And there have been no hurt feelings on either side since we've been doing this. We're happy in our limits.

We need to have limits and we need to define them. Our four year old apologized today for "talking". We had to explain that talking wasn't wrong, it was just that sometimes we need him not to talk, he needs to learn that while talking in and of itself is not wrong, but talking when others are talking is, or when we've asked him to be quiet so that we can finish a task without interruption. Talking is wrong when it crosses a defined limit.

I'll be working on limiting my clothes to what fits in the closet, it will suck short term, only because of my own issues. We've already established with the hanger trick that I don't wear all of those clothes anyway. It's just a matter of trusting that I can live within a limit.