Minimum Standards Training

Hubby and I need about 30 hours of training each year to maintain our foster license. Our agency is kind enough to do it in home on a regular basis. So that all y'all non-foster parents can learn from us I will share this months edition of minimum standards.

"Best practice suggests:
feeding infants while infants are awake"

Apparently it is optional if you are awake, good thing.

"Best practice for toddler care suggests:
Enough popular items availabe so that toddlers are not forced to compete for them."

Is that even possible?

"Do not force children to sleep"

Again, is that possible?

and my favorite, discipline...

"You may not use or threaten to use corporal punishment with any child in care. It includes:
1. Hitting or spanking a chld with a hand or instrument" such as a saxaphone.

"2. Forcing or requiring the child to do any of the following...Unproductive work. Unproductive work is work that serves no purpose...Examples include digging a hole and filling it up."

Hold up here, I thought we were all inclusive. Dig a hole and fill it up is very Zen. And Zen is in, right. I believe that this should fall under the separation clause that does not exist.

"In addition to corporal punishment, prohibited discipline techniques include, but are not limited to:"

leaving room for everything they don't like after the fact.

"1. Any harsh, cruel, unusual, unnecessary, demeaning, or humiliating discipline or punishment;".....

Don't they encourage us to be "unusual"? Don't we as parents have to stay one step ahead? I understand not being overly harsh, but not harsh at all? If you are biting someone, I should just talk you out of it? And what is unnecessary discipline?

"4. Using sarcastic or cruel humor"

"6. Biting a child"

"12 Confining child to a box"

"13. Denying basic child rights as a form of discipline"

What's that? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

"Time out is not appropriate for infants and is not recommended for toddlers"
OK Supernanny, you're going to need to cover this one. When is it appropriate to put a child in time out? I think that I will never put another child in time out. From now on I will put myself in time out for not being understanding. I understand that I should be in timeout for one minute for each year of age I am. About the time it takes to take a nap. No one is allowed talk to me while I'm in timeout, otherwise I will begin to act up as a way of seeking attention.

I'm putting myself in timeout for being sarcastic, it is totally not appropriate. I'll start as soon as I call the state on my own parents for all of the "unproductive work" I had to do as a child.