Thursday, February 21, 2008

Alphabet Soup

Earlier this week a group of people, most of whom have never met us, got together to assess our parenting of little middle born of the heart boy. There were Phd's and LPC's, and MSW's and God only knows who else, but as has been done quarterly for almost four years now, all the letters got it wrong.

Funniest issue was the Phd who declared my biggest problem with my three year old was that he wet the bed. If only. If the potty issue were the biggest problem I had, I would have more of an issue with him peeing in his dresser drawers in the daytime than in his pullups in the middle of the night.

Second issue I have is that someone reported that little middle tells Mama "you're not my mom." This has never happened. I will admit to having issues early on, but I am now 1000% on board with him being very clear exactly who Mama is. The only time he's ever mentioned his relationship with Mama in a way less than enthusiastically is when he declared he didn't want to go back there.....not to her house, but in her belly "cause that would be gross". Amen. He gains greater understanding daily with the fact that he grew in my heart and lives in Mama's. I shouldn't be so surprised that a three year old understands it better than people who have spent his life 10 times over studying it.

Other issues, it was indicated that his "adaptive ability" is low to the point of being "clinically significant" yet he has "adequate coping skills". Really? they sound awfully similar to me. And as someone who interacts with him daily, he has the worst coping skills on the planet, even for a three year old.

My favorite part is that the outcome of his assessment puts him at a coping, and socializing age of about two years six months. Guess how long he's lived here....two years five months. So with all they got wrong they got it right that he was lost without us, and that he should not be moved.

Looking forward to next quarter when they decide that not letting a 45 pound two year old "graze" is depriving her of her "right to eat". I'm hoping they get all their letters together, put them in a pot and make some soup. That would be helping me.

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