Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Anything you say can and will be used against you ....when you least expect it

My oh MY, did we have an eventful Urgent Care visit this evening. As you'll recall, Princess was suspected to have a UTI, and with Felpsy's arm reset, we didn't have time to get to the pediatrician during office hours, so it was left to Urgent Care. Thank you God for inventing that little gem, nine hours in the ER is NO FUN.

Felpsy and I got back from the bone doc, his biggest fear? Not that his severed bone would pierce his skin, that's mine. No, that Bob would be mad at him. Bob wasn't, of course Bob gets paid twice. Bob being the surly man who has been doing this for 30 years and only seen someone take off the plaster "a couple of times." Felpsy, use your powers for good.

Anyway, I walk in the door, tag Felpsy out and Princess in. Of course Booger is feeling left out, so he and Daddy joined us, leaving Big Girl and Big Boy to watch Radical and Felpsy.

I signed in the heir apparent and while waiting was doing the monthly paperwork, and the paperwork from the numerous medical visits. Princess and Booger took turns for a moment on the fun things they had to offer, then began to fight over them, jump off the furniture and other naughty kid things that drive us all crazy. Daddy offered to stay with her while I took Booger home, then I reminded Daddy about collecting the urine from a three year old girl part and he decided we'd both stay. Well, Princess had to go before we got in so we got a sample cup and biohazard bag from the receptionist and headed for the bathroom. We returned moments later with Princess proudly holding her bagged and cupped urine waving it around for all to see. Announcing to the world that she got to pee in a cup and here it is, look. See? Receptionist didn't want it so we got to keep it. Woohoo.

Before during or after this, an ambulance pulls into the ambulance bay and Princess starts screaming, "he's dead, oh no, he's dead, oh my goodness, oh my goodness." I informed her that they don't send an ambulance when you die, which set the 12 year old girl with the broken nose into fits of laughter. Which was good, because she had NOT been in a good mood.

Daddy and Booger had left for a walk and returned. And put down the coffee, send the children into another room, this is where it gets good. Princess climbs up on her dad's lap and says in her loudest quietest three year old voice "Daddy, what's that in your pants? Daddy, what is that? It's not your phone. What is it? Daddy, WHAT IS THAT in your pants?" For the record everyone, it WAS his phone. We and the twelve year old nearly died laughing.

The rest of the evening, yawn. She doesn't have a UTI, but she has something, which means.....you guessed, another doctor visit. Yippee. When do I get a raise? My last one was $0.24 a day, two years ago. I'd sell out to TLC, but I don't have video consent privileges, yet.....

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