Sunday, September 16, 2007

I know that my redeemer lives

This past week I've been singing a song, the problem is I only knew one line. My version of the song is "I know that my redeemer lives, and I don't know the other words." Joyful noise, right?
So, I was very happy when the second song this morning was that song. I've been battling this cold for the last couple of days and was not terribly excited about leaving the house, wrangling the babies across the parking lot, yada yada yada. So even though my heart was not into it, I went to church, and that song was God's way of saying "I see you."

This is not a unique experience for me, I don't think I've ever said "If you're there you'll...." but on many occassions I've had a mental checklist of things I've wanted, an overly detailed checklist and to the finest detail it has happened. I am ashamed to say that I didn't trust God on the front end. It was MY list and didn't give it over to God, but the completed list was God's way of saying "I see you."

When it became obvious that my first marriage was ending, I made a checklist of things to look for so I wouldn't end up there again. The final detail being "Chris in the morning," my dreamy dream man/morning DJ from Northern Exposure. And although my first outing with my current husband could not be classified as a 'date', his parting words to me were, "I'll be at the radio station tomorrow if you want to call me."

I'd given up on having my boy/girl twins that I'd always wanted. Statistically rare in life, let alone in foster care in south Texas at the time we were foster parents. Well, in February 2005, I got the call. Did I want a 6 year old boy and a 1 year old boy? We already had four boys in the house, only one full time girl, and one part time girl. I told the caseworker, I can't take anymore boys, but if you ever have a girl... As it turns out they had a five week old girl, but she had a twin brother, and we'd have to take him too.

So, just know that even when your heart isn't in it, and you aren't expecting God to fulfill your wish list he has many ways to tell you, "I see you."

Psalm 37:4 - Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

No comments: