Puzzling

So you are waiting for God to answer your prayer for the child that you know you've been called to raise. You have taken all the classes, (in our case twice), and you are still waiting. In my case by beginning of year number two waiting for a child, I was mad because I could've gotten pregnant, had a child, and been well on my way to feeling like a normal person again. But I still had nothing. And God forbid the ten o'clock news has a story about someone beating their kid to death, it just makes you want to scream.

Becoming a parent involves pain. Whether by body or by heart. Having done both I'd say the physical pain is better. They have some mighty good meds, praise God. But sadly there is no epidural for your heart. I doubt child placing agencies would be in business if they opened up their "Fostering 101" class with "This will break your heart, you will cry, you will scream and there is little we can do for you."

Whatever route you take into parenting children born to others it is heartbreaking. Your child may be in an orphanage half way round the world, and you can't go get him because you forgot to sign page 47? Or worse, you get to hold him, kiss him, love him and then leave him there. That doesn't seem right. Your baby may be inside of a 15 year old girl who is scared to death, maybe she could get an abortion and no one would ever have to know. Throw in a little abuse and neglect and this whole thing will make you sick.

My favorite illustration of God's will is the puzzle. It hardly ever makes sense until it's complete. How can a squiggly piece of green cardboard with a blotch on it ever turn into something beautiful? By joining with all the other nonsensical pieces: bit by bit coming together. You'll get glimpses of the beauty along the way, but not until that 5000th piece is in place will you see it as the creator intended.

I hope that this is encouraging to all of you waiting for your children. Being reminded of "God's timing" makes me want to choke people. I know they are right, but it makes me feel lacking in my own faith. That is not my intention.

1 Corinthians 13: 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then shall we see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.