Monday, November 17, 2008

Great Love

And here is how to measure it - the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends. John 15:13 NLT

I may be more familiar to you in the NIV

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

I had always assumed that this meant to die for someone else. Our orientation into foster care gave me a different perspective. I'm sure you probably have an idea of what your family will look like when it's complete. Well groomed, well behaved smiling cherubs on your annual Christmas card. What about the other 364 days?

What happens when your perfect scenario come up, but comes with three siblings? What happens when one sibling in the group is not right for your situation. What if you're married to the problem child's father or mother?

I will admit that I've failed many times in the department of giving up my life, so there is no condemnation here. But I being the bigger person literally, shouldn't I have been the bigger person figuratively? How would it have changed my life to love them anyway? How would it have changed theirs? It's hard to weigh, but we've always tried to go with what was best for the whole. It's only easier on paper to have to give up on a child in foster care. It's still a child that you were given to love, and it's difficult to admit that love ain't always enough. When you married into it, biblically there isn't much choice. I don't have step children, but know many step parents, and from what I hear, it ain't easy.

I had to lay down my vision of the perfect family. I know my husband laid down his. And every day, we lay down a little more of our life for them. It's not because we are better, or stronger or have it more together, we certainly don't. I would like nothing more than to wave a magic wand and finalize this adoption, and yet I have to lay that down. New opportunities, in new places we have to lay down. Our lives are not our own, and tomorrow, we will lay them down again.


hsmomma5 said...

Wonderful perspective--thanks for sharing it. My favorite part:

"What happens when one sibling in the group is not right for your situation."

That is our situation. And daily, we have to lay it down and realize that God gave us this one just like he did the other four....and for a reason.

FatcatPaulanne said...

What a beautiful post.