And the winner is.....

Me. It was discussed at length today amongst every fourteen year old boy my son knows. I am officially the worst parent ever.

I had to repo a cell phone today. It seems that it is outrageous for me to require someone to pay for their cell phone usage. NO ONE else, on the whole planet, has to pay for their own cell phone usage. It's not like I'm shaking down the teens for cash to pay our bills. I am asking that they do a couple of assigned chores in a competent manner in exchange for certain privileges. My big boy is required to take out the trash and pick up the towels and stray clothes in the bathroom. I'm a slave driver.

When my nomination and ultimate win was announced this afternoon, it came with the reasons for the unanimous vote. I have come up with the dumbest chore system on the planet. You do a chore you get a point. You can exchange the points for cash or privileges. When my boy does 50 chores and is able to buy $50 jeans he loves this system. I love the system. The problem is, the boy doesn't have points, because he hasn't done any chores, and now he doesn't have any privileges. This is somehow my fault.

Of course I could have given him credit for all of the chores he didn't write down. I could have extended some credit, it was only two points. I could have waited until tomorrow to charge him, but that would have been the easy thing to do. It's not about the battle at this point, it is about the war. I'm not raising kids here, I'm raising adults. If you cannot take responsibility to write down your hours, you don't get paid. It is not wise to rely on credit. Bills are due when they are due, not when you get around to paying for them. I would rather he learn this life lesson when it is the matter of a cell phone for a couple of days, not when he's $50,000 in credit card debt. Although it would've made my day easier.

This is a lesson that gets played out in my neighborhood everyday. We have a couple of thirty something kids on my street. They are not living with their 'rents because of their parents declining health, or to be helpful. They are not living there temporarily, they've been there since we moved in six years ago. One of the neighbors has had to hire help in the yard due to a heart attack a couple of years ago, his sons only contribution to the yard is cigarette butts. The other neighbors kid drives a brand new truck that has been replaced every two years. I will gladly be the worst parent ever, if I can avoid the Peter Pan Plague of our street. Do I want my kids to hate me and never speak to me again? No. I just want to visit them somewhere else someday.

My daughter is a senior in high school. I'm hoping that she is excited to move out. I love my parents, but can't imagine living with them still. I would like to think that my parents are proud of the fact that I can not only live on my own, but also thrive on my own. I hope that I can share their joy when my babies are outta here. I of course corrected all of the mistakes that my parents made, but probably made just as many new ones. Luckily my kids will be able to correct my mistakes.

I would like to thank all the little people who voted for me, I would like to share the honor of worst parent ever with my husband, I wouldn't be here without him. I'm wondering if there is a cash prize associated with this....