Thursday, December 27, 2007

Old journal entry that needed sharing

This is from the fall of '06.

I have a two year old who is OBSESSED with the song, quoting him "ohnoyouneverletgothroughthecalmandthroughthestorm". Every time we get into the car he starts saying "ohnoyouneverletgothroughthecalmandthroughthestorm", as if saying it over and over and over will magically make it appear on the radio. Every one is required to sing along, he even said to the shy sitter "SING TINA". Of course I could just go buy the cd, but it just so happened that it was that time of the month, financially speaking, mortgage, utilities, bills, bills bills. I have to try daily not to impulse buy things and hope for the best. So I said "God I need $10 to buy this boy a cd."

This morning I woke to a surprise bonus and was feeling all thankful until lunch when I checked our account. We were OVERDRAWN by $637. I had no idea what we'd spent $1500 on and the online entry just said "pending". My husband and had absolutely no clue as to what the $1500 was for, but until the pending was updated, there was no use fighting over it.

I was pouting as I started a load of laundry, when I was clearing pockets I found a $10 bill. Kind of thankful, but more snotty brat. I informed God that cd's really cost closer to $20, and we'd probably need the $10 to feed the starving masses. His answer to me was "you said $10, I gave you $10, go buy the boy a cd".

My little temper tantrum, obsessive forensic accounting of the morning had put me behind schedule. Our two year old had a play therapy appointment, and we were running late. Not everyone appreciates the "sorry I'm late, God told me to go shopping", excuse. But it was true and maybe she'd set me up with some much needed therapy for myself.

I hurry into the the Bible book store and quickly locate the Matt Redman cd's. That song is on NONE of the cd's. Browsing, browsing, browsing I see a sale rack of compilation cd's. BRIGHT yellow sticker "You Never Let Go" SALE $9.97. Could you be a little more clear God? I don't think so.

The therapist was running late. Our bank card number had been stolen and the bank never took the money out of our account, and I was reminded once again through our two year old that You never let go, through the calm and through the storm. Every high and every low. You never let go of me.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Duh People

My biggest gripe about foster care, and there are many, has to be caseload workers. The paper pushing licensed professionals who couldn't pick you out of a line up, but are the people who are supposed to be your support system.

Last year our town was in an uproar because a child died in foster care. The paper talked about the condition of the child's room, the stresses that the foster mother had been under, the discipline techniques that the foster parents used. The reported atrocities were many, everyone wondered how this could happen.

Being on the other side, I'll tell you. We've recently changed case workers. She's been our caseload worker for four or so months. She's spent approximately one hour in home, total. I don't think she's looked in the babies room. I know she doesn't know how we discipline. She's never asked how I was doing, and even if she did, I probably wouldn't tell her as she is a stranger. As of the date of this posting she has "moved on" but we will soon be going through this again.

God forbid anything should happen to one of our children who are still in foster care. Texas law supposedly mandates that kids shouldn't spend more than one year in care, we're well past three. My family has no one with the proper letters behind their name that has been in our house and knows us. I don't doubt that we have friends that would be there for us, but juries like letters, even without relationship.

The sad thing is I know of several couples who have foster licenses and for whatever reason have never been asked to take in a child. 'Tis Christmas time, all we hear of is all the children out there that need a family. Hey people, there are families that need a child. Take some time to look for them, otherwise they'll have to make the choice to go private. Then we can all continue to whine about how foster children are forgotten children, and complain about the rich people buying babies from the poor. That is not the case, but what matter is truth when it makes for good news?

Monday, December 17, 2007

My Husband

Another edition of people who've changed my life. He deserves to be farther down the list, (so he'll be higher when I've posted thousands), but it is his birthday and I didn't get him anything.(jk)

He has always been a good person, even before God got ahold of him. Knowing God didn't change who he is as a person, but God gave him direction and he's ran with it.

People who knew me 11 years ago would not know me today. Even my sisters wonder who I am when I make it home for a holiday, or other family gathering. I allow others to speak my truth for me too much of the time. The truth my family speaks of me is not really my truth. My husband speaks the truth I want to be, and because he believes it so can I.

He adores me, though I'm not always adorable. He thinks of me before he thinks of himself. While in many ways we are completely opposite, at the same time we are completely the same, whatever it is is working for us.

He is a good friend, a father to the fatherless, and while this may seem "duh?" to some people, he always does what he says, he always pays his bills, and is completely reliable. And simply by being by his side for nearly eleven years I have become a better person.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Miss Bryant

I haven't settled on a number yet, the number of people who've changed my life is probably greater than I realize. I was going to start with Jesus, but realized that when all is posted he'd be at the bottom of the list, and people might get bored with my third grade teacher and not get to read about Jesus and how he has changed my life. I'm not talking tabloid Jesus, I'm talking living room Jesus, but we'll save him until later and get to my third grade teacher and my junior high soccer coach. Not that these people aren't awesome, we're saving the best for last,(ish, hopefully this list will never end.)

I had some very good teachers, and some downright "why on earth did you choose this as your profession" awful teachers. My third grade teacher was also my Kindergarten teacher. Back in the day when you didn't have to speak three languages before K. Back then it was our kindergarten teacher that taught us the ABC's and the 123's and we even had inflatable people and it took us all year. So thanks for teaching me how to read Miss Bryant, turns out it came in handy.

The only thing I remember from third grade is playing the gossip game and writing letters. I wrote my aunt who coincidentally went to school with Miss B. Small world. She still rocked as a teacher in third grade, but apparently I didn't learn anything that year. I guess she made more of an impression just for being nice.

So I guess the poster is true, everything I did need to know I learned in Kindergarten.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

and then there was one.

It is a monumental day in our household, we are down to one kid in diapers. Praise Jesus. We've had multiples in diapers for almost three years. Yes, I know I could have pushed the issue and done it months ago, but when they are ready, they are ready and it was easy, and I'm fighting enough battles here.

Speaking of which, the teens seem to thing that chores do not apply to them unless they are in immediate need of something. I have set up a very generous point system, if they did all of their assigned chores, every day, they could go out with friends twice a week, have friends over twice a week, have their cell phone and their internet and at least $20 a week. They choose to hover around what they need to cover. Results have indicated that they expect Santa to cover all of their December wishes and chores have taken a hit. Our big girl is assigned to do the dishes, she waits until midnight to do them. I told her that dishes were more important than me giving her a ride to work, and if dishes were undone, that she should not expect me to provide her a ride. Yesterday she waited for her friends to come over and give her a ride, no worry for her, she was only 30 minutes late. This morning dishes were still undone. So we got her where it hurt, wireless internet access. Lo and behold, I dropped her off after school and went to pick up another kid, in the fifteen or so minutes I was gone, guess what was done for the first time in weeks? That's right, the dishes. Of course, the first question was, when can I get my internet back.
Let's see, maybe when you appreciate all that you have.

Don't worry, she's a senior, she'll only have to endure this torture for six more months.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Miss me?

I just got back into town after a much needed break. Hubby and I took our born of the body babies out of town on a family matter. And before you get upset about us not taking the born of the heart babies with us, let me explain that my born of the body babies have had to share their parents for the last four years. The heart babies will have five full years of being the only children in the house once all of our body babies are grown. I think the body babies deserve to have their parents for five days.

Ok, so that out of the way, let me say how much fun we had. Our boys played in the pool for a couple of hours. It's not that they don't get along normally, but with a six year age difference they don't tend to play together much at home. Our younger boy was absolutely thrilled that his big brother was hanging with him.

My primary purpose was one last hurrah before our oldest body baby left the nest. I arranged it around a secondary event that I REALLY wanted to do. Weather did not permit my secondary event to happen. I was REALLY upset, but remembered that the first thing was the first thing and that was accomplished.

Anyway, I have to go and deal with the aftershocks of the long absence so catch you later.