Monday, August 18, 2008

My Former Acquaintance and New Friend

I've found a new friend, in a very strange place. Right under my nose, and in what seems to be a theme for me, for some reason, she is now gone. I met her a couple of years ago as we went to same church and frequented the same Bible studies and play groups, and yet we never became friends. Despite all of the time together it never got past the "Hey, how are you, the kids? Good, good. Have a nice day." portion of the program. I knew people who ADORED her. I didn't get it. I would often think to myself "what are they seeing that I'm not?"

On paper it seemed possible that we could be good friends. She had a boy the same age as mine. Her family had adopted. She had teens and tweens and had to deal with multiple kids at multiple stages and BOB children and BOTH children. But there was never a tipping point.

Earlier this year God called her family away from our little corner of the world. I know that God brings people into your life for a reason. There is no one in your life that God hasn't allowed to be there. I wondered why God had her in my life. In the past I will admit that she annoyed me. OM Gosh, there I said it. It was nothing that she did, she didn't pull my hair when people weren't looking or repeat everything I said in a sarcastic nasal voice, there was truly no reason for me to be annoyed by her. I knew there would be several times this summer where our paths crossed. I wanted to know who she really was.

So as the summer went on I would notice that her friends really adored her. I began to see her as very caring friend. I saw her love on her kids and if she was ever annoyed by them I didn't see it. (Except for the txting of the person sitting next to them which I don't get either). And the closer she got to leaving the more I got it.

Here's another area where we are probably more alike than I'd like to admit. As she started to let me in a little, I realized I don't let people in very easily. Sure I will let you in on the foster thing because most of the time there is a crisis brewing and I need people around who are aware of what's going on so if it ever hits, I don't have to go through the whole back story, I'll just have people showing up and loving on me. But other areas of my life are off limits.

So now that there is a gulf and a state between us I see even more. I can see that us girls all see a major move as more than a checklist of

Pack the house
Pack the truck
Unpack the truck
Get on with life

For us girls it doesn't work that way. Even when we know that we are exactly where God wants us, we miss our stuff. Yes there will most likely be a Target where we go, but it's not our Target, sorry Sohlgal. Which Starbucks is the best? Will our kids adjust, will we? Are we going to be able to find a non scary church? And knowing that right now there is no place we can go and curl up in the fetal position and ugly cry and be reassured by one of our girls. And one day our emotions find us in a strange place and we just want to feel at home.

So, I thank God for living in the age of the Internet, where friends are as close as we are to a computer. And that we can find understanding with people we may otherwise never know. And for my new friend who has let me in and reminded me that I need to let others in as well.

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